4D Batteries

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The problem of Christmas: no one EVER sends batteries with their Christmas gifts!! I am using Christmas because I am a Christian and celebrate Christmas as my "winter holiday," like 92% of Americans do. This is also why businesses like NTB and Batteries Plus probably make their largest profit on December 26^th...

In a completely unrelated department, I an working on my brother's website, The Airport of Idiots, and am constructing a newer, better a2.

Ham Murgler

(c) 2005 Chris Matlak

Weather or Not?

It's storming outside right now, but it was sunny a just minute ago. The predictive text is getting really good now.

URL Problems

One problem with my template is it shoves the sidebar to the bottom of the page if a URL is too long. This is because Blogger refuses to "wrap" long URLs.

Smoker's Delight

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/asiapcf/ 11/21/australia.tourist.ap/index.html

Smoker tried to open airliner door

Monday, November 21, 2005; Posted: 11:52 a.m. EST (16:52 GMT)


BRISBANE, Australia (AP) -- A French woman who is terrified of flying admitted in an Australian court Monday that she drunkenly tried to open an airplane door mid-flight to smoke a cigarette.

Sadrine Helene Sellies, 34, was placed on a good behavior bond after pleading guilty in Brisbane Magistrates Court to endangering the safety of an aircraft.

Sellies was traveling on a Cathay Pacific flight from Hong Kong to the east coast city of Brisbane on Saturday when the incident occurred at the start of a three-week Australian vacation with her husband, the court heard.

She walked toward one of the aircraft's emergency exits with an unlit cigarette and a lighter in her hand and began tampering with the door, prosecutors said. However, a flight attendant intervened and took Sellies back to her seat.

Sellies was arrested and charged by police on arrival at Brisbane airport.

Defense lawyer Helen Shilton told the court Sellies was terrified of flying and had taken sleeping tablets with alcohol before takeoff.

Shilton said Sellies has no memory of what happened on the flight and that she has a history of sleepwalking.

Nevertheless, Magistrate Gordon Dean sternly warned the woman: "You must understand, if you are on a plane you must behave yourself."

Sellies, who did not speak in court and was aided by a translator, was placed on a 1,000 Australian dollar (US$734; euro623) bond -- meaning she will have to pay that amount if she commits another offense in the next 12 months.

In other words:

Some French woman named Sadrine Helene Sellies got the nicotine blues. Bad. So bad, in fact, that she opened the emergency door of a flying airplane to get a smoke. Fortunately, for her, and unfortunately for us, she survived the riskiest smoke yet, so there is no telling where she might foul the air next.
Her defense in court on charges of endangering the safety of an aircraft was she was afraid of flying and was in a blackout when she had her perilous smoke. So not only does she smoke whenever she wants, but she does it drunk and on sleeping pills. Humanity is trouble, so please save us, O Lord!

I would like thank Nate Holcomb for telling me about the story and suggesting I submit it to the Darwin Awards.

Blog About the Blog

Today I just updated the look of my blog. Please tell me what you think of the changes.

Michigan Week

(c)2005 Chris Matlak

Q: How many Michigan University freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, that's a sophomore course.

Q: Why do all the trees on Ohio lean north?
A: Because Michigan sucks.

Q: How do you get a Michigan grad off your doorstep?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: Why do all the Ohio buildings lean south?
A: Because Michigan blows.

Q: What did the OSU grad say to the Michigan grad?
A: "I'd like a large cheeseburger with extra bacon, a small order of fries, and a medium Coke."

Q: How do you get to the university of Michigan?
A: Go West until you smell it, north until you step in it.

Once upon a time, a Ohio resident and a Michigan resident went to Heaven, and God granted them each one wish. The Michigan resident said "I hate living next to the Ohio so much I want a wall 10 feet thick and 50 feet tall around the entire state of Michigan." God snapped his fingers and POOF! There was a wall 50 feet high and 10 feet thick around the entire state of Michigan. Then it was the Ohio resident's turn for a wish. He said: "Can the wall hold water?" and God replied "Yes, it certainly can." Then the Ohio resident said "Fill that wall with water."

It's a long way to Ann Arbor, so please remember to flush twice.

Any more Michigan jokes? Please post them in the comments.

101

Here are some links to some "101 lists"

101 Things to do with A0L disks
http://www.aleeya.net/2005/09/15/101-things-to-do-with-aol-disks/
101 Things to do with CD-ROM'S
http://www.hintsandthings.co.uk/musichall/CDroms.htm
101 Kinds of Annoting People
http://www.angelfire.com/ri/flamingeggplant/Annoying.html

And Finally:
The 101 Most Annoying Things to Do
http://www.christianforums.com/showthread.php?p=1208930

Wham, Bam, Amsterdam

Amsterdam!    

This is a test of Blogger Word.  ((( ¿Dos?

1/2

Today is my half birthday

The End

My vacation just ended. Darn.

Vacation Message\Rabbit Pictures Part 2\The First Pov-Ray Post\2 Jokes\Legal Notice\Apology

All right here's the post you've all been waiting for. I'm going on vacation for the next week to Lake Michigan - I take back the Flush Twice Joke - see here (http://wastespace.blogspot.com/2005/07/story.html). Also I've downloaded Pov-Ray and created my first (semi) on-my-own image. Here it is in it's final form (see right).
The zoom on the right is from an earlier version of it (1 or 2 days ago). The floor is squares - I don't know if the noise around
some of the square edges is from JPEG compression or not. These are based upon Pov-Ray's torus demo. Aside: I used JPEG because PNG (my first choice) produced a 900KB~3MB image and BMP (the original format) produced a consistent 3.5MB file for a 1280*1024 image. The JPEG was about 100KB~300KB. END OF ASIDE.




Alright, here are the two jokes - you can replace the town names with whatever, I put Worthington, UA (Upper Arlington), and football in for the purpose of looking better than $town1, $town2, and $sport. Here they are:

Joke 1
Once upon a time, a Worthington resident was working for a UA farmer, and the UA farmer was angry because the Worthington ton football team beat the UA team. The UA farmer was so angry that he asked the Worthington worker how deep a hole was. The farmer (from UA) knew that it was a manure (cow #2) hole and asked the worker (from Worthington) to jump in to see how deep it was. The worker jumps in and shouts up "It's ankle deep!," so the farmer jumps in and it's up to his neck. The farmer yells "I thought it was ankle deep!" The Worthington worker replied "It was; I jumped in headfirst."

Joke 2
A Worthington resident and a UA resident are at a football game. The Worthington resident is behind the UA resident, who is using the urinal in the men's room. The UA resident accidentally drops a penny in and when he's done with his business he dumps a bunch of change in and then grabs it out of the urinal. When asked why he did that, he said "I wouldn't go in for just a penny."

Alright here are the rest of the rabbit pictures :) - part 3 should wrap things up - coming in a week or 2

As you can see, Sarah hopped out of this picture - the one that got away!!

Legal Notice -- You may copy and distribute the pictures if you want, but you MUST give credit to Chris Matlak - except for the jokes - those you Can use freely (I didn't make them) -- End legal notice

Here are some more Pov-Ray pictures

<<==Hallucination?

<<==Stone chains

The pillar

Is this a farm or bowling alley??

Sorry to you dial-up users for the slow loading speeds - I just had a lot to say ;) - This is the longest spontaneous post!

Story!

(c)2005

Once upon a time, a Ohio resident and a Michigan resident went to Heaven, and God granted them each one wish. The Michigan resident said "I hate living next to the Ohio so much I want a wall 10 feet thick and 50 feet tall around the entire state of Michigan." God snapped his fingers and POOF! There was a wall 50 feet high and 10 feet thick around the entire state of Michigan. Then it was the Ohio resident's turn for a wish. He said: "Can the wall hold water?" and God replied "Yes, it certainly can." Then the Ohio resident said "Fill that wall with water."

It's a long way to Ann Arbor, so please remember to flush twice.

Rabbit Pictures - Part 1

Here are some of the rabbit pictures

Weather or Not?

It's storming outside right now, but it was sunny a just minute ago. The predictive text is getting really good now.

Dissecting a Computer (part 2)

This is a picture of yesterday's post



Here are some of the computer pictures.

I'll have more pictures later along with some pictures of my sister's rabbit.

Dissecting a Computer

I'm dissecting some old computers (read: 386/486) right now. Expect some pictures of the project later. Here are some old pictures for your eye-candy pleasure.

Working...

I've been working on the 0-Zone (at http://cmt20.freewebspace.com/3/) for a while, and I'm updating it now. If you've seen the absense of new content at my main page (at http://home.earthlink.net/~cjmatlak/) it's because the FTP isn't working. When it's updated, I'll post and you can put your comments about the site in the post's comments.

PS I like this new blogger images thing, Bolgger and Google rule!
PPS I hate comment spam and WILL delete it.




The End.

Why

I haven't posted for a while because I don't have anything to say.

Nokia Cell Reasearch

May and, a k: yet another spell and time test of cellphone email real message to be sent as post m: . So

Another Long Thyme

Sorry I haven't posted lately. Nothing big has been going on in my life, so I didn't hove anything to say. I installed MS Office 2003 Pro. It was only $20US because of a work/home communication program.

May Day! May Day!

Just a random post. No, I'm not in trouble, just that it's the first if May, that's all.
PS: I need a vacation soon

TGIF

Thank God it's Friday. I'm so relieved that it's FINALLY the weekend.
OK, so this is a random post, but I didn't have any other ideas and I wanted to post today. That's all, folks!

Football

I just got back from the OSU Spring Scarlet vs. Gray Football Game. The (American) football was good, but the weather was bad. It about 34^oF and raining. Also, it was windy. I realize that I should have brought some warmers. So much for global warming...

More Later.

Chinese Lunch

for Chinese restaurant humor, go to http://www.xopl.com/blog/2005/03/14/gourmandsdemands.html

A reminder from $yourname

Dear $friendame

Your friend $yourname has teamed up with eatfruit.com to remind you to eat fruit. You should eat at least five portions of fruit each day. As you know fruit is good for you and can provide your body with much needed vitamins and irons. Your friend has done a good deed in reminding you to eat fruit, please make a conscious effort to eat at least five portions a day and please remind someone else to do the same.

With kind regards,

Your friend $yourname and the eatfruit.com team

http://www.eatfruit.com

Eat Fruit

People, eat your fruit!! Also, spread the word! Eat your fruit already!!!

123qqq

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh, Grrrrrrrrrgh, And Uhhhhhh.... Ummmmmm... Yeah, He Just Sorta Died Somehow, that's it!

Four words: SPRING VACTION IS OVER

In other terms, I found a Keep Me Stupid for work, it's called Bob's Cube. It is actually an ad for Hostaway, but Shirk Your Work is a good game get it at bobscube.com

Not Dead

I Just wanted to let the world know that I'm not dead and still alive.

Play or the Party

I went to a play and found it enjoyable. I actually went to avoid my sister's birthday party. Good choice, me!

Prince Pi

This is an old story I wrote a long tome ago.

Once upon a time, there was a frog prince, his name pet was Hoppie his real name is Prince P (pi). He lived in New York, New York. This was in the year 3142. One day he was surfing the net. He went to CeaderPoint.com and clicked on Millennium Force® portal
Then he found himself on top of the Millennium Force. He wondered where p would be, where he was and who he was, because...
…HE FORGOT HIS NAME!
Then he found a gold goose. The gold goose told him to leave and go to China and go “Chin Chang Thong” said prince pi. Then, the golden goose said, “My name is Loopy.”
“What’s my name?” said p
“Let’s sing a song!” said Loopy
“Witch song”
“Ninety-nine Bottles Of Beer on the Wall”
“OK”
“Let’s start now”
“OK”
“Ninety-nine Bottles Of Beer on the Wall
Ninety-nine Bottles Of Beer!
Take one down pass it around
Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall
Ninety-eight bottles of beer
Take one down pass it around…”

· · ·

Meanwhile at Loki’s tower…
“The proper way to take control of CeaderPoint.com is to hack!” said Nognor
Loki said, “Totally wrong: the proper way to take over CeaderPoint.com is to send Reponsel to the top of the Millennium Force. I’d give yea 314 joules if your sissy scheme worked, Nognor.”
“I don’t want to go” Reponsel said.
Jouromgund: “well you will! ”
Suddenly Odin bursts in!
Odin said, “Let her free”
Nognor Loki and Jouromgund then said “NEVER”
“Then I’ll take her myself”
“You can’t you weakling”
“I’m a god, remember”
“Well so is Loki”
“I’m the greatest”
Boom!
Odin and Reponsel all of a sudden disappeared.

· · ·

Back at Cedar Point:
“…One bottle of beer on the wall
One bottle of beer!
Take one down pass it around
Zero bottles of beer on the wall
Zero bottles of beer!
Take one down pass it around
Negative one bottles of beer on the wall
Negative one bottles of beer!
Take one down pass it around.”
“I can’t say another word,” exclaimed Pi
“Neither can I” remarked Loopy
“Look up there!”
“I thought you couldn’t say another word”
“Just look”
“Whoa! A flying person!”
Crash!
“Who are you?” said Loopy and Pi
“Odin and Reponsel”
“Who is Odin?
“The most powerful Norse god”
“I want to kiss her, I’m a prince” said Pi
“First a challenge to prove you’re a prince” said Odin and Reponsel
Here is an approximate list of tests:
1. Tell us your genoligey
2. Tell why you’re a frog
3. Open C://autoexec.bat file
4. Sing Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall
5. Tell us how to ride a roller coaster
6. Do tests 1,2 and 3
This is only part of the list there is more but if I typed the whole list, it would take a week to tell everything about the tests. I do not know much about because the bright green future oracle gets fuzzy easy. For more info go to L:\stuff.htx
Here is how he did on the tests: His genoligey: Prince Pi son of King Lextop. Why he is a frog: he had genetic mutations. He opened C:\autoecxt.bat no problem. He really did well on the song.

Boredom

I'm so bored. I want something exciting to happen. Maybe the Monster(Truck) Jam will come to my house randomly, just a thought.

UpDate: Cellular Post

The post, Cellular Post, was actually posted on Friday, Feburary 11 at around 8:15 PM EST. The reason for the wrong date is that the post took some time to travel through the e-mail servers from my mom's cellphone.

Sick Daze and the mystery website

It's Valentine's Day, and I'm sick (again) with the REAL flu. Can anyone explain my bad luck??? Can't I get sick on a unimportant day?? Seriously, what's with this?

On another note, my "warehouse" website is here at http://cmt20.freewebspace.com and the O-Zone (which is still in development) can be found at http://cmt20.freewebspace.com/3/welcome.htm.

cellular post

In typing this post to my clog using predictive text. As you can see, its usually good, butt sometimes inaccurate

Untitled Page 001

CMT This is a good site, check out the games HERE!

Birthday Fever

Today's my birthay, and I'm sick at home with a fever. :( *sigh* The fever could have CHOSEn A BETTER TIME...

more later...

My Little Waste of Internet Space

My Little Waste of Internet Space This is my blog, and this is a post!)

Virus

ert+

y76p;

strondba1; :::::: Scr1p7isnu11

 

 

HA HA! Just, messing with your mind, take no offense at this (fake) virus.

Postopia2

Here is another Post

Postopia

Here is a post.